how HE really thinks..

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Permalink Reply by Scott Howard on April 3, 2010 at 2:54am

I'll tell you what I think...but I've been single for quite some time so you can take this tidbit of info with that disclaimer. Plus, I've never hooked up in a bar and that is not really where I've met people.

If I'm interested in a girl I want her to know so I don't play by the dumb, "wait 3 days rule" or whatever. If I had just talked to them the night before or whatever I will typically send a text, message, or something the next day that says something along the lines of, "Hey, I had a great time talking last night, I hope you're doing well, [insert witty comment in reference to the convo from the previous night]." If the girl never responds then I let it be, if she were interested she would get back to me sometime.

I don't think a girl is crazy for contacting me first, if it is someone I'm interested in then I'm ecstatic to see the message/call/text and my heart usually jumps and my stomach feels light. If you aren't sensing a mutual interest after the message give the guy some space so see how he reacts over time. If he wants it bad enough (not supposed to sound sexual) he'll work to get it.

In response to your question, "How do us girls let a guy know we've been thinking about them, without falling into that ridiculous "stalker" category?", if something genuinely makes you think of him snap a photo of it and send it in a picture text with a short message like, "Ha, look what I found." Again, if you aren't sensing a mutual interest after the message don't continue to press forward but also don't get discouraged if you don't receive immediate feedback, it's possible he's busy.

If I were you I wouldn't come forward saying, "I want to see you again." Start conversation and if the convo takes off and a point of common interest comes up you can say something like, "Yeah, we should go do [insert common interest] sometime, that would be fun." It seems more natural that way and less needy, know what I mean?

Anyways, I hope that helps. I'm kinda a softy and have a real soft spot for real affectionate women but I'm sure there are varying opinions about what to do and what not to do, just don't over think it, you'll drive yourself nuts.