Just Friends? Is that for real?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Phronk on July 17, 2009 at 5:01pm

I think it's possible in theory, but rare. If two people like each other well enough to be good friends, then there is a good chance that one or the other is going to develop more romantic feelings too. Plus, if either does get in a relationship, being close friends with someone of their preferred sex could threaten the relationship due to the mere possibility that it could become more.

But still, it could happen if two people are just completely not attracted to each other romantically but get along really well.

Permalink Reply by Jennee Thompson on July 17, 2009 at 11:58pm

But do you go up to a woman and start a conversation with her becasue you think she might make a good friend? I think a lot of guy/girl friendships start off with attraction and turn into friendship.

Permalink Reply by Jennee Thompson on July 21, 2009 at 4:13pm

I just realized I meant to say I think a lot of guy/girl friendships start off with attraction and turn into a relationship.

Permalink Reply by Phronk on July 21, 2009 at 9:07pm

Maybe not START a conversation with a random person. But people can meet someone of their preferred gender in other ways - like common interests, activities, work, etc. - just like they meet their other platonic friends. And they can be good friends with zero romantic attraction.

But like I said, that's probably pretty rare and often it gets complicated in one way or another.

Permalink Reply by Pandora Gabriel on July 18, 2009 at 4:47pm

I only have one straight guy that I consider as a "friend". I've known him since high school. Yes we did date at one point.However we do not hang out alone. Ever. We care for each other and will call each other for help or advice or whatever knowing that it's just that, because we have a mutual trust. But there is really no common ground there, to just hang out with the opposite sex platonically. I can't picture myself calling a guy acquaintance to come over and just hang. That's just me.

Permalink Reply by Jennee Thompson on July 21, 2009 at 4:16pm

I agree with you here...especially when our opposite sex friends get married. i had a hard time accepting that my guy friend and i couldn't get together without the wife being present...It's hard to let go of those friendships but it has to be done, or else you can be blamed for a marriage that ends in a divorce.

Permalink Reply by E on July 21, 2009 at 8:52pm

One of my best guy friends, and yes, we are just friends, once told me that when a guy meets a girl for the first time the first thing he thinks of is how much he'd have to drink to bang her. I don't believe we females operate like that, mostly because we only have one head to think with.


www.DWHandbook.blogspot.com

Permalink Reply by T ™ on August 3, 2009 at 2:36pm

it really depends on the people.

I have more guy friends then girl friends. But out of all of them only 5 [guys] and 2 [girls] that i can really trust and go to when
I need advice or vent about the things going on in my life. I trust each of them differently because they are all different. The funny thing is
is that although they are all MY friends... they are not friends with each other. Mostly because their personalities are so different from one another. They know each other but won't be caught dead hanging out. lol.

I will admit, we don't hang out as much as we use to when they are in relationships... but we do keep in touch & check on each other. Some girls get defensive about it but once they get to know me they usually end up liking me. Mostly because I respect the fact that they are in a relationship and that even tho we don't hang out as much we'll always be friend. I know that if i need someone to talk to i can call one of them up and talk to them... hear their advice and go back to our daily life. Obviously, i'm not going to call them up at 2 in the morning or call them constantly when they are having their time together! it's not my place. There are always boundries. I wouldn't like anyone doing that to me so i don't do that to them. I always let the girlfriends know that they have nothing to worry about with me... because it's true. At the end of the day... I want what is best for my friends and if they are happy then I am happy for them. I respect their relationships even when their chicks don't like me.

Personally, I can get along with mostly anyone as long as they are not arrogant and rude.

2 of the best guy friends i have we did meet at first by being attracted to each other and dating but after getting
to know each other better a really good friendship came out of it and it has stayed that way. We know too much of each other
to even consider anything else. They're more like the big brothers i never had and they are just as protective of me.

I think the fact that we don't hang out or talk as often doesn't minimize the value of our friendship or what they mean to me
because we know each other very well and we know that we'll be there for each other regardless of where our lives takes us.


oh and just to add... My friends too use didn't think guys and girls could be 'just' friends when i first met them. Lol. little did they know!

Permalink Reply by Alexia on August 5, 2009 at 2:37pm

I've talked to some guys about this actually and they say different things. Some guys say that ALL guys will have sex with a girl-friend (a friend that is a girl...lol) if she lays it on the table, but that doenst mean they are necessarily attracted to that girl.

Other guys I asked say a friendship means at least one of them doesn't like the other that way, and it's usually the girl that doesn't like the guy, but sometimes it is the guy that doesn't like the girl; sometimes its both.

And only a couple said that they just met the girl and became friends and it didn't start as an attraction. More like they were around the same place at the same time. Like for me, the same place same time us being in the same class and doing a group project--becoming friends that way. The guys that have said this say that their friendship doesn't mean the girl is ugly; they actually listed some girl-friends they had that they called "hot" but they weren't attracted to at all.

So I guess it depends on the guy/girl and on each relationship.

Ha! I actually recently (couple months ago) broke up with a guy I dated for two years, and he still wants to remain friends, which I'm okay with, but guess what kind of "friend" relationship that is?

Permalink Reply by Kris Kayso on August 7, 2009 at 12:13am

I wish it was simple, but someone will always be (intially) attracted to other (if not both). It's fustrating to be the person that just sees the relationship as a friendship because you feel like you can't be yourself any more around that person, if there is actually a crush. But just because there is an attraction, doesn't mean guy and girls can't just be friends. I think it's healthy to have both sex friends bc you get the opportunity to learn from the opposite sex.

xo Anastasia B.

www.xoanastasiabee.blogspot.com

Permalink Reply by Shelly on August 8, 2009 at 9:00am

Honestly, having dealt with this issue myself I think it is impossible to be " just friends" without at one point in the friendlationship one of the two parties having been either attracted to or in love with the other.

Permalink Reply by Quinn Perkins on August 13, 2009 at 4:17pm

I don't even know. I know that I've had guy friends that I could never be attracted to in that way, but I don't always know what they are feeling. I have one right now that is that way. I know he knows how I feel because I've made it as clear as possible, but who knows how he really feels.

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