Ladies, How do you like to be asked out on a date?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Still Searching on July 2, 2009 at 12:35am

I never use the words "hangout" because of the reason you stated. I am a planner and usually have plans to do something fun like sailing, hiking, exploring the city, etc when I call... not text lol.

As for your question, for sure I like to be asked out. It is always a mystery to me when a girl likes me or is just being nice and being asked out makes it nice and clear that she is interested.

Permalink Reply by Pandora Gabriel on July 2, 2009 at 1:20am

I'm curious about your statement of "a girl just being nice". Does this mean that if a girl is speaking with you she must be interested romantically? I've had trouble with that in the past. So are girls supposed to be mean to guys if they just want to be friendly and not date? I've been told before that I seemed interested (when I was not in fact). If someone starts a conversation, I'm going to talk, I'm a talker. What is a girl supposed do in that situation???

Permalink Reply by Still Searching on July 2, 2009 at 1:32am

Let me clarify a bit for you. If a girl is talking to me and we are having a nice conversation I don't take it as she is interested romantically. I have had numerous girls talk to me, mention going out with me, give me their contact information (without me asking) and then just blow me off entirely a few days later. I also have had it when we have both mentioned going out and she goes out with me and is obv not interested right from moment we meet up again (no they were not drunk when we met lol). Sometimes I wonder if girls just go on dates to be nice,because they are trying not to hurt the guy's feelings.

I am a talker too and will talk to just about anyone, anywhere and it's just because I want to meet some new people, not because I am romantically interested. I once just asked a girl at work after we closed and were cleaning up if she saw a certain movie yet and her response was, "Yes and I already have a boyfriend" when I was just trying to make conversation.

If someone starts talking and you aren't interested just drop some hints that you aren't. I am pretty good at picking up on those and will either leave you alone and go away, or if it's a good convo, drop a hint back that I am not interested romantically so we an finish the convo and maybe just become friends.

Permalink Reply by SavvyD on July 2, 2009 at 5:05am

It's kinda tough because sometimes someone will say they are so glad you called and promise to get back to you about their calendars and then don't. He suggested coffee, I suggested sushi and was even going to pay. It's just a darn shame. And the sometimes people who you think didn't care end up caring a great deal. That's the nice surprise that one always hopes for.

Permalink Reply by Pandora Gabriel on July 2, 2009 at 2:55pm

I guess it's tough for everyone.

Permalink Reply by Nik on July 19, 2009 at 2:52pm

OMG! I totally have had problems with this too. One guy (who I was just being nice to) told one of my friends that he felt like I was always coming on to him whenever we talked. Do you have any idea how this messed with my head??? I was like, "I had no idea I was coming across that way. Do other (platonic) guys I talk to feel this way?" I am friendly and I like to make new friends . . . so it really messed with my noggin'. The comment was made a couple of years ago . . . so I'm pretty much over it (ha!). But it still sometimes makes me wonder . . .

Permalink Reply by Pandora Gabriel on July 2, 2009 at 1:17am

I agree with Molly that it varies. I think if you are SERIOUS about getting to know someone, an afternoon date or coffee is better, at least for me. Both parties are more alert and expectations are simpler. This way cocktails and vulnerability at the end of the night are off the table. I'm just speaking from my experience btw. I'm sure there are plenty of guys that can "have dinner" and really mean that they want to "have dinner". I prefer lunch. Also when asking, don't aks at that moment. Get the digits first and give a call later. You never want to put anyone on the spot. : )

Permalink Reply by Laura Coulson on July 2, 2009 at 1:28am

Still Searching, I've looked at your profile and read your blog. You're a great writer and I enjoy reading your stories. I myself am single, but not really looking because I'm travelling, but I always keep an open mind. What I wanted to tell you is that I recently read a great, amazing, life changing date book that I wish to tell every singleton about. It's called "It's Just a Date" and although it's aimed at women, and I understand some of your views on sex, I still think you should give it a go. It has some really great advice, how to find the one you're looking for, how to ask someone out, the date down low the eventual lead to a relationship. You may google it and think I'm mad for recommending it to you, but seriously, give it a chance...maybe not take it literally, but apply the basic ideas to your quest in finding the one!
And to answer your question. Ask a girl to dinner, tell me where you're going what time you'll pick her up- be decisive...girls are just looking for you to take charge. We don't want to 'hang out', we want to date! And when the second date comes, keep it out of the house---you'll read all of this in "The Book"
Good Luck!

Permalink Reply by Still Searching on July 2, 2009 at 1:43am

Thanks for the compliment! I'll check out the book sometime. Oh and I always go for the date with plans, never the hangout.

Permalink Reply by Proud Maisie on July 9, 2009 at 6:56pm

Give me something funny, witty, teasing... An usual comment, a wicked glint in the eye...

Permalink Reply by Jennee Thompson on July 11, 2009 at 7:44pm

with confidence...face to face...NOT with a TEXT MESSAGE!!!! That is so lame.

I hate "hanging out" because intentions are never really known and then there is the crossing over from friends awkward stage... be a man and be confident

Permalink Reply by Phronk on July 15, 2009 at 6:07pm

There's this weird pick-up line I've heard of...it's crazy, but it just might work for asking someone out on a date. It goes something like this: "Do you want to go out on a date?"

And yeah, I think this works equally well for men and women. It's the 21st century; I would hope we're past sexist crap like women being hesitant to make the first move, and men feeling pressured to do the same. Maybe if someone wants to do something with someone else, they can just politely ask directly?

I know! Crazy!

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