As I looked down the barrel of the gungey toilet, the reflection of a white iPhone started back at me. I was caught at toilet point. I couldn’t leave though, my bladder was at full capacity. I knew if I left the stall I’d be pushed aside and have to begin the painful bladder room waiting game again. It could be whole minutes before I was able to force my way into another stall. 

Making your way through a girls bathroom at midnight on a Saturday, is somewhat like…

The older and more analytical I get, the more I start to realize in general holidays are a bit strange.  Obviously there’s nothing weird about presents, food and family, well actually that depends on your family. What I’m talking more about is the aspects and myths holidays are based around. 

Didn’t anyone stop to think maybe telling little kids it was ok to see a mysterious man break into the house through the chimney, wasn’t such a great idea. Or hey kids, after…

Is it just me or do you ever feel like your life is one big April fools joke. As if any second someone is going to jump out of the corner and start screaming you didn’t really get that raise at work, or an A on that paper. And oh ya remember the day you felt great cause your hair was bouncing and behaving and everyone was glancing at you, well you had spinach in your teeth. …

“Oh God, where are the apple slices?”  We went over it I know we did, was there an extras button, or a fruits section? I can hear the customers growing impatient as the rhythm of his finger tapping gets faster.  Like the hands of a clock his tapping is telling me I’m running out of time. There was a time when apple slices were just a juicy snack instead of something that sent my life into chaos.  That was before grease stains, unflattering uniforms and spilled cola became a regular part of…