Jenn McMullan's Page

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Jenn McMullan posted a blog post

I Peed On An iPhone

As I looked down the barrel of the gungey toilet, the reflection of a white iPhone started back at me. I was caught at toilet point. I couldn’t leave though, my bladder was at full capacity. I knew if I left the stall I’d be pushed aside and have to begin the painful bladder room waiting game again. It could be whole minutes before I was able to force my way into another stall. Making your way through a girls bathroom at midnight on a Saturday, is somewhat like reenacting a scene from Saving…See More
May 2, 2012
Jenn McMullan posted a blog post

Top Ten: Reasons I'm Not Impressed By Easter

The older and more analytical I get, the more I start to realize in general holidays are a bit strange.  Obviously there’s nothing weird about presents, food and family, well actually that depends on your family. What I’m talking more about is the aspects and myths holidays are based around. Didn’t anyone stop to think maybe telling little kids it was ok to see a mysterious man break into the house through the chimney, wasn’t such a great idea. Or hey kids, after you pillage, slaughter and…See More
Apr 7, 2012
Jenn McMullan posted a blog post

April Fools It's Just Your Life

Is it just me or do you ever feel like your life is one big April fools joke. As if any second someone is going to jump out of the corner and start screaming you didn’t really get that raise at work, or an A on that paper. And oh ya remember the day you felt great cause your hair was bouncing and behaving and everyone was glancing at you, well you had spinach in your teeth. Continue....See More
Apr 1, 2012
Jenn McMullan posted a blog post

My First Job

“Oh God, where are the apple slices?”  We went over it I know we did, was there an extras button, or a fruits section? I can hear the customers growing impatient as the rhythm of his finger tapping gets faster.  Like the hands of a clock his tapping is telling me I’m running out of time. There was a time when apple slices were just a juicy snack instead of something that sent my life into chaos.  That was before grease stains, unflattering uniforms and spilled cola became a regular part of my…See More
Feb 21, 2012
Jenn McMullan posted a blog post

Dear Valentine's Day

Roses are redViolets are blueOh sweet Valentine’s dayWhat can I say about you,Like a flying sparrowCupid sent his arrowAiming for my heart massIt just got Gherkin’s ass,continue....See More
Feb 12, 2012
Jenn McMullan posted a blog post

Shit I'll Most Likely Say At A Super Bowl Party

It’s an occasion of chicken wings, screaming and the day plumbers have been training for their entire lives. Super Bowl Sunday, the sports event of all sports events. Or so I’m told. For me personally it’s just a regular Sunday that gives me an excuse to eat until I cry. Continue...See More
Feb 5, 2012
Jenn McMullan posted a blog post

A Quarter Half Empty

I’m Dying. It’s happening faster than I though it would, but there it is.  You see I’m turning 25 soon, which means I’m basically 30.  Which means I’m a mere 10 years from 40. Then in a flash I’ll be 50 which is half way to a hundred. Holy shit I’m half way to a 100. How did I get here? Continue...See More
Jan 29, 2012
Jenn McMullan posted a blog post

Kiss My Ass New Years

Five, four, three, two, one, HAPPY NEW YE…ahh screw it no one’s listening anyways. I’m facing a wall while people around me are getting to first base and this isn’t the first time that’s happened. The closest thing that got to my mouth on New Years was the growing pimple I had from the cheeseburger the night before.I’ve never liked New Years, mainly because I’ve never been good at it.  I’ve never been successful at my New Years resolution, I’ve never had a New Year’s kiss and I always start the…See More
Jan 21, 2012
Jenn McMullan posted a blog post

Top Ten: Things I Hate About Airplane Rides

37 hours, that’s the amount of time I’ve spent sitting on a plane in the last month.  That’s not including the time spent waiting in airports, going through security and washing off the smell of the guy sitting next to me.  Overall I don’t hate airplane rides. I’m not deathly afraid of heights (although I’m not a fan of them either). It’s pretty cool to live in a time where humans can fly. And no one judges you for being tipsy at 10 in the morning when you say you just got off a flight. …See More
Jan 14, 2012
Jenn McMullan posted a blog post

Sibling Pimples

I learned early on just like my brother, pimples should not be provoked.  The more you pick at them the angrier they get.  Until they just become this ugly red thing ready to erupt and possibly leave you with a scar.Pimples and siblings are alike in a lot of ways.  They often just show up when you least expect it. They tend to be there at the worst possible times and can be quite an inconvenience. Not to mention, poking them is not a good idea.…See More
Dec 4, 2011
Jenn McMullan posted a blog post

Top Ten: Last Minute Costume Ideas

If you and I are anything alike, you’ve spent this past week wondering how old is too old to wear a costume.  And if you’re like me, you’ve come to the conclusion the response is the same when asked how much icing is too much.  The answer is never! You can never have too much icing and you’re never too old to wear a costume.Since I spend so much time wondering about this question, I am now a girl without a fake persona for Halloween.  Much like sorority girls, Beyonce, or any of the cast…See More
Oct 30, 2011
Jenn McMullan posted a blog post

Confessions: My Name is Jenn and I'm a Drunk Texter

As soon as my finger presses down on the letters S-E-N-D it begins to happen.  The wave of questioning regret crashes down instantly like the morning after I decided to wear that blue eye shadow.  The feeling sits in my stomach like cafeteria style meatloaf with a side of unidentified “lumpy” mash potatoes.Luckily the intoxication of my vodka water keeps the tide at bay, but only until the morning.  As soon as the sun hits my blood shot eyes, making me shrink away like a vampire from the cross,…See More
Oct 22, 2011
Natalie Paige left a comment for Jenn McMullan
"love love love you jean."
Oct 16, 2011
Jenn McMullan posted a blog post

Jerky My Bacon

My friend Sam and I were talking about inventive ideas when the subject deliciously changed to the topic of bacon.  He informed me he thinks bacon shouldn’t be cut in such thin strips but instead cooked 10 pieces thick.  Then he uttered the miraculous words, “jerky my bacon.”  My world was Matthew McConaugheyed and everything got real slow real fast.  As soon as Sam said it I immediately fell in love with the phrase.  It was gold I tell you, GOLD!…See More
Oct 9, 2011
Jenn McMullan posted a blog post

My Sassy Mouth

I’ve learned a two things from writing this blog.  One, if you write a post titled ‘Welcome To My Asshole’ people will click on the link.  Two, many of you lovely readers who keep coming back, are surprised to find this girl can be quite ballsy.I’ve been called a nice, quiet girl, many times throughout my life, and one thing always comes to mind when I hear people say this. Clearly you don’t know me very well.…See More
Sep 28, 2011
Jenn McMullan posted a blog post

My First Critic

There’s a first time for everything.  First time you tie your shoe, first time you fall in love.  First time you throw an arcade basketball and it ricochets off the backboard and hits you in the head.  Whaaaat, of course that didn’t actually happen to me at a bar that use to be around the corner from my house.  That was just…I mean I was only…it didn’t really…ummm….I, I…what was I saying?  Is it hot in here?Let’s move on shall we.  Like I was saying, every experience has a story about the first…See More
Sep 20, 2011

Profile Information

Where do you live:
Ontario, Canada
Short Bio:
I’m a twenty something girl living my days tucked away at the very point of Southern Canada. I’ve gone to school for my English degree, am currently getting a Journalism diploma, and have no idea where I'm heading after that. My blog is about everyday life with my converse.
Blog URL:
http://myconverseandi.com/
Twitter:
http://twitter: @myconverseandi / Facebook page: My Converse &a...
Age:
25
Fill in the blank: "People who like _________ will love my blog!"
quirky, sweet and self-deprecating humour
What makes you different from other bloggers?
I live in constant fear of Gherkin, a.k.a. the 350 pound girl who lives in my heart, eating her way into the outside world

Jenn McMullan's Blog

I Peed On An iPhone

Posted on May 2, 2012 at 4:51pm 0 Comments

As I looked down the barrel of the gungey toilet, the reflection of a white iPhone started back at me. I was caught at toilet point. I couldn’t leave though, my bladder was at full capacity. I knew if I left the stall I’d be pushed aside and have to begin the painful bladder room waiting game again. It could be whole minutes before I was able to force my way into another stall. 

Making your way through a girls bathroom at midnight on a Saturday, is somewhat like…

Continue

Top Ten: Reasons I'm Not Impressed By Easter

Posted on April 7, 2012 at 2:50pm 0 Comments

The older and more analytical I get, the more I start to realize in general holidays are a bit strange.  Obviously there’s nothing weird about presents, food and family, well actually that depends on your family. What I’m talking more about is the aspects and myths holidays are based around. 

Didn’t anyone stop to think maybe telling little kids it was ok to see a mysterious man break into the house through the chimney, wasn’t such a great idea. Or hey kids, after…

Continue

April Fools It's Just Your Life

Posted on April 1, 2012 at 2:55pm 0 Comments

Is it just me or do you ever feel like your life is one big April fools joke. As if any second someone is going to jump out of the corner and start screaming you didn’t really get that raise at work, or an A on that paper. And oh ya remember the day you felt great cause your hair was bouncing and behaving and everyone was glancing at you, well you had spinach in your teeth. …

Continue

My First Job

Posted on February 21, 2012 at 11:53am 0 Comments

“Oh God, where are the apple slices?”  We went over it I know we did, was there an extras button, or a fruits section? I can hear the customers growing impatient as the rhythm of his finger tapping gets faster.  Like the hands of a clock his tapping is telling me I’m running out of time. There was a time when apple slices were just a juicy snack instead of something that sent my life into chaos.  That was before grease stains, unflattering uniforms and spilled cola became a regular part of…

Continue

Comment Wall (7 comments)

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At 11:36pm on October 16, 2011, Natalie Paige said…
love love love you jean.
At 9:32am on September 7, 2011, Kerry Rose said…
Hey Jenn! I just browsed your blog and I have to say, I love your writing style and sense of humor. Looking forward to more posts :)
At 11:00pm on August 30, 2011, Richard Boehmcke said…
Well aren't you just the sweetest peach in the patch. I am so happy it makes you happy and has made an unfun day (I am familiar with those) feel not so much so. Feel free to help yourself to as much of my content as you'd like. Go ahead, it's ok. It's all fat free!
At 10:06pm on August 25, 2011, Cary B. said…
Wicked is amazing! I still need to read the books. :)
At 5:48pm on August 25, 2011, Tom said…
Hey Jenn. Thank you for the friend invite. Just gave your blog a read, I'm really hooked!

Good luck with the journalism pursuit. The Gherkin sounds cool lol.
At 5:09pm on August 24, 2011, Sandy said…
Welcome to 20sb Jenn! How do you like living in your bit of Canada? I absolutely loved the 2 places I visited last year and can't wait to go back again. :) Good luck figuring out which direction to take!
At 1:37am on August 22, 2011, risha said…

Hi! Welcome to 20sb!

I'm Risha, one of the Community Mods here at 20sb. Do have a look around the forums and do read up on the 20sb guidelinesthe spam policy and the social contract. Our F.A.Qs are also rather useful!

 

Introduce yourself in the forums- you can do so on this post.Please remember to read the Forum Posting Rules first though! Jump in and participate whenever you're ready, and don't forget to bring your sense of humour! 


Don't forget to follow us on twitter [do send us an @ reply letting us know who you are on 20sb], 'like' us on facebook, and add our blog; "Twenty Twenty" to your Reader! These are the quickest ways to see what's up at 20sb, and keep up with all that we have going on! 


Feel free to contact me or any of the other mods with any questions or clarifications! You can drop me a message via the inbox or e-mail me on risha@20sb.net or find/stalk me on twitter: @readmethings

Enjoy!
 
 
 

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