somethings don't change

A co-worker of mine brought in her 1 week old grand-daughter to show everyone at work. She's ONE WEEK OLD... this is the most disgusting & dirty office I have ever worked in. Have you read my stories about the bathrooms here? I go do Subway on a consistent basis because their loo is MUCH cleaner. It probably doesn't help that the baby's grandma is the one who is supposed to clean this hell hole.

I can't even begin to tell you how many people have walked by my office to say, "Oh, Dolce! You have to go see the baby!" "You have to look at the baby!" I even got a call from the receptionist to go up to the front desk to "look at the baby".

You know how I want to respond?

"Go fuck yourself. I don't care."

I've never met the mother before in my life and I barely talk to the grandma. Why would I want to go stare at a someone else's baby? I'll get enough practice holding, feeding, and caring for a baby on my own. I don't need a 30 practice run with a stranger in my office. I'm glad to know that even though I could be a mom in less than 24 hours pregnancy hasn't taken away from who I've always been.

Still a dry, sarcastic, non-child loving, bitch who doesn't get mooshy over babies, cry (too much) at movies, or get a warm fuzzy feeling through my body at the sight of kittens.

Whew...glad I haven't become one of those.

= not that bad

I have single digit days left before the expected due date of this lil' cupcake. I haven't talked about it much simply because most of the 20something blogging community will black list bloggers from their reader if one writes about pregnancy or anything child related, but I feel I've paid my dues and I'm tired of not blogging.

Maybe it's just me but I feel like there are two catagories of pregnant women,

1.those who think it's a blessing from God and puking twice a day is euphoric and nothing is life is better than waddling around the house all day.

2. those who are crabby ass bitches who hate every single second of it and fucking complain all day long, eat like that asian dude who stuffs his face with hotdogs every Fourth of July, and then whine all the time their ass is getting big and they can't figure out why.

Well, I've never fit into either of those catagories. So my stereotype of pregnancy is washed away.

Here is my simple truth:

Pregnancy isn't that bad.

There have been times that have been really fun (getting extra loving attention from PH) and times that have really sucked (trying to find a sexual position that gets the job "done"). But overall it's been a pleasant experience.

I've never really considered myself maternal. Honestly, I was more anxious to get a dog than to get knocked up. Children still scare me and is there a more annoying sound than a baby crying? I'm not a fan of snotty noses and I can't stand kids who are brats, talk back, roll their eyes, and throw temper-tantrums. I guess that behaviour is also an outcome to how they're raised, so let's hope I do a good job.

There have definitely been more vain fears as well...

How will I look after I have a baby?

Will I ever get my body back?

How will my social life change?

How will our finances/lifestyle change due to the costs of day care?

Wow...do I sound like an adult or what?

PH, being the awesome man that his is asked me what kind of push gift I wanted. Being sometimes logical I asked for a personal trainer. I want my body back (and maybe even better than before) ASAP. I want to wear the skimpiest halloween costume available. My thoughts right now are to go as Lady Gaga. Thank goodness I didn't gourge myself on cookie dough and ice cream.



It's only been the last week or so that I haven't been going out as much. Fourth of July was the biggest smack in the face of reality that my life has already changed due to the cupcake when we didn't go out with my BIL and his fiance and stay up drinking all night until 4am like we usually do. Instead we went home after the fireworks, met up with our neighbors (two of the wives are pregger too) played Mario Kart, and were in bed by 1am. Life has definitely changed from the drunken bike falls in a dress minus panties.

I can't even imagine going comando at this point. Hanky Pankys...absolutely. I haven't fallen that far off the wagon. My high heels have taken a back seat to my reef flip-flops and a one piece swimsuit is undoubtably necessary. Somethings have greatly changed and the changes have been welcomed.

Importantly, I didn't really think pregnancy would effect my relationship with PH. We have always been a solid couple and pregnancy wasn't going to change that, but holy shit I was wrong.

Having him by my side through this entire process has made me grow to love him more than I ever thought before...ever. He's been incredible and I really believe pregnancy hasn't been bad because he's been so supportive and loving. There is nothing this man hasn't done for me (he went to a 4 hour breastfeeding class! No man does that!). If I told you all the things he's been doing and what he's done and how helpful he is, you would think I was lying. He's really been a fairytale. A part of me is almost upset that the pregnancy part is almost over because of how wonderful he's been, but I know as soon as the baby comes he's going to be even more amazing.

My in-laws (who I have had a real fear of interfering and over stepping their boundries) have really turned out to be a great support system. My MIL, no matter how good her intentions have been, has a gift to make me want to cringe...like nails on a chalk board, but she and my FIL have been nothing less than amazing. They're so excited for us and want to help us out as much as we allow them to.

My BIL and SIL are the exact same. Everyone is just so excited. My parents included. My mom has been so happy about being a grandmother that she asks to go out to lunch at least once a week and everytime I see my parents they have another gift for cupcake. Most of them she has made so it's extra special. My brother, who I have never been that close to is getting pumped up about being an uncle. We've been starting to go out together more often...I think it's because he finally has a girl friend and most of his friends are single. He needs another couple to hangout with. I'm not complaining. It's been a nice change hanging out with him. He's suprisingly kept his conservative political views to himself. (I think the new girlfriend is a democrate).

The annoying "how are you feeling" question is out of control. I swear I have a co-worker (male) who is about 2 seconds away from asking me if my mucus plug has come out yet. Every morning when I show up for work people stop by just to see if I'm here. It's sweet...to a certain degree. This week I'm going to take advantage of being knocked up and leave the office everyday at 3:30pm.

What is anyone going to say? I'm 9 1/2 months pregnant. Most women aren't even working at this point. I'm a fucking trooper if you want to know the truth but I can barely make it to 5pm anymore without requiring a nap.

Alright, this post has been mushy-gooshy enough to make myself puke. Wish me luck, only 4 more days to go...i hope.

Pop N' Fresh 38

I'm going to miss them when they're gone.



Yes, it's the same dress as the last preggo pic, but STL is freaking HOT and this is the coolest thing I own. Cool = non sweat creating.