Estella's Page

New Year's Eve...



It seemed like the end of an era instead of the start of a new one.



Got to a dinner party, and was offered Pills upon arrival.



"Uppers, downers... What do you want Estella?"



And I Laughed, and drank wine, and realized that a few of my Ex's were there, including HIM, the one I've always loved, but our madness combined would be impossible.



My old Doc friend damn near had an overdose on a mix of Adderal, Ritalin, Clozapine,… Continue

I was dating Mr. BMW. He was, and still is, BEAUTIFUL YOUNG and RICH. When I met him, I knew that I wanted him. Over time, I got him, but it wasn't what I expected.



Being the girl in the passenger seat of the M3 or Z4, involved a lot of pressure. I had to be as beautiful as him, and we had to be the couple that everyone wanted to be. It also involved giving a lot of Road Head at 200 km/hour. Has anyone out there ever blown a boy at that speed?



When he left for… Continue

I miss the confidence I used to have when I was a COKE HEAD.



I got heavy into Blow when I was working in the Accounting Industry. This job made me very unhappy. I wasn't a total Cokehead, but I was becoming a heavy user. That and Adderall, Ritalin, E, etc.



The glamour from Hollywood doesn't transplant into the reality of swollen-plugged noses, and severe dehydration and damaged brains.



I'm glad to be off. I detoxed while volunteering abroad with street… Continue

I have another blog, but, like most things on the Internet, it's read by my family. I'm pretty open with my family, and we are a tight nuclear unit, but I feel uncomfortable "going there" when I know I'll get a phone call from a relative within an hour of posting anything semi-controversial.



This is a problem, because I'm a very controversial person.



I've never been one to follow social norms, and I often border on animalistic hedonism in my pursuit of… Continue