Free

Its quite strange the way it is...
Tears well up
When I want them least
Smiles I have to weave
When i want them to leave .
Yet i feel proud
Of my innocent nerves
For not popping off
Even when their wreck is known;
For not pushing me down
The somber valley of insanity.
I want to forgive
I want to hold close
But i want to give happiness most of all.
Embracing when I fail at it
I must set free;
Free to go and conquer
All it wants and deserves;
Except me.

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