All I want for Christmas is David Beckham

Dear Santa,

First of all let me apologize for the lack of correspondence up until this point. It's not that I've been too busy it's just that I've been experiencing a crisis of faith as of late. Ever since Carlie told me you weren't real, back in 2nd grade I've had my doubts. It really was a crushing blow. Of course my mom had already let me in on the fake status of the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny, but somehow hearing that you weren't real seemed like the final blow. This revelation was the straw that broke the camel's back and popped the cherry of my childhood innocence (cliche enough for you?). Clearly I was devastated. However I've been hanging out with the kids I babysit for (like I can help it) and I've also been watching too many Christmas movies plus I've been staying up way too late and living off coffee as college students are wont to do (so maybe I'm just going crazy but hang in with me for a second here). Anyway, the point is that I've been questioning your existence all over again. Also I figure I'm not going to get what I want for Christmas anyway so I'm hedging my bets and sending you this letter.

What I'm trying to say is all I really want for Christmas is David Beckham. I've included a picture in case you're not too familiar with him...

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And really, on the off chance that he's busy with Victoria or has some other stupid excuse lined up for you, I'm willing to accept a substitute. As you may already know I'm not having the best of luck in the relationship department. If you could magically make me more approachable and/or attractive that would be lovely as well, but back to the purpose of this letter. In the event that Sir Beckham is otherwise engaged I will accept a man who meets the following requirements:

-Nice eyes (this is seriously non-negotiable)

-He doesn't mind spending the occasional Sunday in bed with me -Preferably he'll be over 5'9
-He is literate, and actually enjoys occasionally reading books
-Enjoys my cooking

Other than that seriously go wild. He could have green hair for all I care, ok maybe not... but the point is I've really pared down my expectations of late. No I don't think that means I'm lowering my standards in any way, just managing my expectations as evidenced by my willingness to accept a substitute. Maybe I've just stopped believing that the Unicorn man is out there (see WashingTina's newest post for more on this), but who needs unicorns anyway?

So Santa to summarize, if you feel like stopping by my chimney please be sure there's a man in tow ;)

Happy Holidays,
P.s. If this request really does prove too difficult I'll always accept chocolates and/or wine!