Yep, I'm "that guy" that's making a blog post about a video game. Doesn't get much cooler than this.

Please note: before reading this blog, you ought to know I use the word "faggot" quite a few times. I am in no way a bigot and certainly don't mean to refer to homosexuals with the use of this term. As far as I'm concerned, the term could be used interchangeably with "punk" or "stupidhead."

Kevin and I have been sitting in my room for the last 6 hours playing video games. I feel like the first sign of needing something better to do is when we shift positions more than two times and still refuse to get up. I was playing Starcraft II (my buddy Hershey gave me a trial code that came with his game!) and Kevin started in on Modern Warfare 2. If you haven't seen how good Kevin and I are at CoD:MW2, you should take a gander at this video. It should catch you up to speed.


You don't even have to watch the whole video to get the gist that we're really just not cut out for the call of duty, if you catch my drift. To mirror that, I'm pretty shit at RTS games even though I love playing them. So, we're sitting here together, not paying attention to what the other is doing in his respective game, screaming fuckword after fuckword at the screens.

"This game, Nick... This game is faggots."

Of course, it's all in good fun. You know, playing games we're awful at. Because every so often, something incredible happens. Tonight, Kevin and I both had our moments.

Mine wasn't terribly exciting, though it was an incredible achievement for me! I played around on SCII with Hershey for a while before he had to take care of some other things, and that's when I got a little scared. I can manage just fine on the games when I'm on a Skype call with someone having them direct me through the entire match! Once that "crutch" is taken away from me, I sort of freak out and forget everything I was told to do in the previous match. However, there's a bit of cushioning in the league play, and they allow you to take 50 practice games before any scores are recorded (I believe you can skip over them entirely, but not spread them out). Long, boring, 25-minute story short, I whipped some kid's ass with Protoss in my first 1v1 match. He was all "man, my Terran base is getting destroyed!" and I was like "heh-heh! Freaking noob." There's part one.

Kevin's epic tale of guns-a-blazing mastery is quite a bit more... Epic. Typically, we have a very similar playing style to a Rambo movie--grab the largest guns available and run toward the biggest concentration of red on the map as possible. As one would probably assume, this really doesn't work too well (unless we're facing a team full of people even more retarded than us). But tonight, something magical happened in Kevin's playing. He picked up a sniper rifle. Usually there's a major learning curve with these in FPS games, but Kevin seemed to settle in quite comfortably within an hour or two; then again, maybe that was the learning curve. Regardless, he did some ass-whipping of his own. He hit a remarkable 7 kill streak just by "shooting faggots real dead." This earned him an attack helicopter. Badass! He uses it, and that thing tears some folks up. He immediately earns his next kill-streak perk, a stealth bomber. He gets a few more kills with this too! BAM, Chopper Gunner. So he's all up in this Chopper Gunner, killin' him some bitches and whatnot... His kill-streak is well beyond 15 by now (if I had to guess, I'd mark it at 18 or 19, easy)... And PSN tells us that our login information has changed and we must sign back on. WHAT THE DICKS?!

Hackers, man. That, or CoD:MW2 is just full of faggots. To the brim. Perhaps overflowing.

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