So now that I’ve decided to be the kind of person I’d want to date, what exactly does that mean? Because it’s one thing to make the goal or promise and something entirely different to actually act on it. So I did what I always do when I have a goal I don’t know how to accomplish. I stood in front of the mirror and asked my reflection, “How do I make this happen?” Sound stupid? Whatever, it usually works, which is all that really matters. And this time was no different, because as soon as I confronted my reflection, the answer was obvious. That slouch, the downcast eyes, the little spots that I generally avoid checking out…they were like a giant blinking sign screaming, “I don’t like myself all that much.” Which is actually not true. I mean, I’m not about to jump on a rooftop and scream to the world how fabulous I am. But I actually do like myself. Still, the number one thing on my list of what I want in a guy was confidence.

Oh boy. Confidence. It’s quite possibly the most elusive quality a person can have. There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance and arrogance is seriously unattractive. But when it’s in the right balance, confidence can outweigh nearly anything else. And when it’s lacking…well, it can be a serious downer. Who really wants to be with someone whose ego they have to constantly prop up? I’ve never been one of those girls that asks her boyfriend, “baby, does this dress make me look fat?” “baby, does my butt look big in these jeans?” “baby, do you think I’m beautiful?” I realize how annoying that is and how difficult it is to keep answering those questions. Sure, every once in awhile when you’re having a grumpy day or when it’s Fashion Week and the city streets are swarming with the world’s most beautiful women.

(continue)

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Tags: confidence, dating, goals, love, men, relationships, sex

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