They are even more serious than the characters from "Roswell." No one smiles. Ever.

There is this boy (Luke) and he finds out that his dad (who died or something) was a Van Helsing (this means nothing to me, but apparently he has to fight the undead or spirits or something) and now he is a Van
Helsing because his dad died. And he is supposed to be doing this with
his uncle. Who apparently, isn’t a Van Helsing, even though he is his
father’s brother. I’m confused too.

Ok, so Luke is like 16 or 17 or something. And he is never home, he’s always at karate or killing evil spirits and getting home at 5 am and his mom is just like “whatever” and she asks him one time
if he is on drugs. This woman needs to get on top of it, but she
doesn’t care because Luke is reminding her of his father, who,
remember, is dead. From demon killing. Lady, get with it. Duh.

So, Luke has a friend, Ruby, who has no special powers and isn’t related to anyone special, yet she gets to be in the demon killing club even though she usually causes people to get shot (ok, I’ve only seen Demons a couple of times, but
she almost got people shot). And, she’s like in love with Luke, which
is a big impediment on the whole group because she’s a lovesick 16 year
old. Yeah, they’re annoying.

One of the demon fighters is blind. And psychic. And a vampire. But, she drains all of her blood, so she doesn’t feel the need to drink blood. My question is, how is she getting blood in her
body if she is undead and isn’t drinking any blood? And, I’m pretty
sure that vampires need blood to live, it’s their food, duh,
and so she should die because she doesn’t eat. Did I mention she’s
psychic and blind? She’s blind because she doesn’t drink blood or
drains her own or something. And she doesn’t have any super strength
powers like vampires are supposed to. So, I hate this character.

Oh!! One of Luke’s mentors is a zombie priest. A Zombie Priest!!!! He exhales flies when he sleeps. I can’t make this stuff up, you guys. This is seriously on TV. And people watch it. That’s the scary part.

Also, one time they fought a character that was a rat man, but he looked like a rat. All the time. And this isn’t Gotham City or something where it’s normal to have people looking like freaks running around. It’s London. That shit
isn’t acceptable.

Obviously, this show sucks and I know way too much about it. My concerns are because comes on BBC America, this show must be HUGE in England. This worries me. Have you noticed that every show out of the BBC seems to have something to do with space, the future, demons or
spies? And these are the really successful shows. Just sayin’. They
are trying to raise a super race of really paranoid people with
interesting accents (I would say cool, but just like in America, all
dialects aren’t that great).

In case you’re wondering, yes. I am embarrassed at how much I know about this show.