How to Navigate Being Single in a Couple's World

I recently made a startling revelation. It happened when I was out with a group of friends to watch one of these sports games (I'm not going to lie- they all look the same to me!) We had just secured our victory and we all headed back to my place to celebrate. Drinks were flowing, we had our token DJ friend manning the I-Pod and we were all joking around and happy to simply just be with each other. Then I started looking around and I saw something unusual that I had surprisingly missed. I was surrounded by couples. And this wasn't a one time phenomenon: this happened quite a lot and I had just simply never noticed it before!

So, with my new found self-awareness I have decided to write a post in order to help you learn how to navigate the crowds of coupled friends by offering a few of my own experiences. A lot of my closest friends are in couples and it can tough hanging out with them. You need to balance your friendship with their desire to also be with their partner. How is this accomplished? While I am not sure I know all the answers 100%, I have experienced a lot of coupled friends in my past and feel pretty confident to offer this guide to you today.

But I want to hear from YOU! How do you handle being the lone single girl in your group of friends? Or if you are in a couple, how do you treat your single gal pal?

Case Example 1: Marshall and Lily

Lily and Marshall are the couple every couple aspires to be. They are perfect and adorable and completely and utterly in love. I had just started becoming good friends with Lily when she had met Marshall and as our friendship blossomed, so did their love. Marshall is one of those tough around the edges guy and it's hard for someone to reach his warm, chocolately center. Fortunately, I have breached it and enjoy being thought of as one of his close friends. So how do Lily and Marshall handle me, Single Sally?

They're answer is whenever we all go out to make sure that a heavy and large supply of Marshall's friends are around. They like to keep me surrounded by their hoard of eligible bachelor friends and let me navigate my way around and pick one. It's always fun when I go out with them as it's usually me surrounded by at least 4 guys at my beckon call. The downside is that sometimes Marshall's friends stalk me. Via Facebook. And then friend request my friends (sorry Delilah!) and then stalk them. Vicious cycle.

Solution: Honestly, besides some minor stalking issues- I love hanging out with Marshall and Lily. They are always fun to go out with and I've found that I've become really good friends with Marshall and a lot of his friends as well. And how can I not love going out with a group of eligible young bachelors? Especially when I am the only single girl around?

Case Example 2: Robin and Yoni

Robin and Yoni started dating recently so they're still in that "I love you so much and I can't stand to be apart from you for even a minute" stage. It's nauseating. When I do manage to get some time to hang out with Robin, we usually go through some verbal tip toe dance that goes like this:

Me: Robin, let's hang out tonight!

Robin: Okay! What should we do?

Me: Let's go get a bottle of something regrettable and cheap and go dancing!

Robin: Okay! Would you hate me if Yoni comes? He had to work an extra shift at work and we haven't seen each other in four hours and I know he wanted to hang out with me...

Me: (Oh hell no I don't want to hang out with you both while you profess your undying love for each other every five minutes) Um okay.

Robin: Okay and Yoni is bringing a friend for you too!

Me: Yay for consolation prize!

At this point, I know what's going to happen. I have been friends with Robin for three years now and only about four months of that time was she actually single. Usually I end up going out with her and her main squeeze and they bring along some eligible bachelor that they "know I'll love" and it turns into them furiously reproducing in a corner somewhere while I'm stuck with his friend who- inspired by the Animal Planet freakiness going on five feet away from him- wants to get it on with me too. Usually for the hell of it, or for mere boredom, I go for it. Which results in Robin the next day ecstatic that she will now have a new couple to play boardgames and have dinner parties with. Unfortunately I have to shatter this illusion as every night I actually do hang out with these two, it makes me even more grateful for my singleness.

Solution: Unfortunately this is a tough one because most of the time if I want to hang out Robin, I'll also have to take Yoni with it. While it is fun to go out with them (he is a club promoter so he means a lot of VIP and free bottle service), it is nice to have some quality hang out time with a good friend. The trick is to lay down the law and insist on hanging out with just Robin. Usually I just disguise this with a whole "girl's night" theme- but whatever works. I lure her in with Ben & Jerry's and promise of chick flicks and then I slip her some Tequila and we make our way toward the music.

Case Example 3: Belle and Greg

Belle and Greg started casually dating two years ago. It's been on and off since then but luckily the three of us have remained good friends. So while it's fun to hang out with Belle and go shopping and I always enjoy hanging back and grabbing a beer with Greg, when it's just the three of us together... yeah, not so much fun.

Yeah we go out and they try to not make-out every five seconds, but it's a hard task for them to accomplish. And when I get ready to go out with Belle and she drops that Greg will be joining us, I can't help but groan a little. It's the classic example of being the third wheel. And I do enjoy hanging out with them in very, very small doses. Belle and Greg, however, are convinced beyond a doubt that they are "that cool couple" that isn't annoying whatsoever. Reality check guys! Whenever I'm with them and the drinks are flowing, I also always get that weird, awkward feeling like I'm headed for a threesome in any minute. It's usually around that time that I head home or just take another shot.

I know how you're feeling, buddy

Solution: I just suck it up and go out with them anyways, but I always try to drag along someone else. The good thing is that they are great when I want to drag along a guy and they make for a fun double date. Another plus is that Greg is an amazing wing man. He can get me any guy with the slightest of ease. But one-on-one with these guys? Oh hell no...

So that is my humble guide to the experiences that I have dealt with personally with my friends. It's not always easy being the lone single girl, but most nights that I do go home after hanging out with my girl friends I do feel surprisingly grateful that I do not have to deal with a lot of the problems and dramas that they do. I also love the fact that I can go out, flirt it up and take home whoever I want and then kick them out whenever I want. I love the flexibility of being on my own and doing what I want to do without having to check in with my significant other. I'm fiercely independent and I love the lifestyle I live... I know one day soon though, I am going to want that stability and love and whatnot- but for now? I think I'll keep enjoying my singlehood!

How to Navigate Being Single in a Couple's World

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