Just a Little Advice...for People Who Give too Much Advice

Just a little advice...for people who give too much advice...

Please shut up. Seriously. It's exhausting, not to mention annoying, to see your lips flapping in the breeze as meaningless nothings come out of your mouth and attach themselves to innocent minds. We don't need anymore silly self-help articles or books about weight loss written by fat people. Enough is enough. And if I see one more talk show or magazine spread about how to be a "successful and sexy black woman", I am going to slap someone. Someone who has nothing to do with my fury. And that's unfortunate, don't you think? It's just getting on my nerves. Everybody is a life coach now. Everybody is a personal trainer. But not many people who pursue those professions care about the health or emotional stability of the client. It's all about money. The sad thing is, so many Americans are missing at least 15 screws and are willing to make monthly payments to idiots who didn't finish the fourth grade but have managed to write a self help book about how to "STOP BEING SAD. AND GET GLAD." I'm just confused.

There are billions of people out there who sincerely, desperately need help. And it's shameful how many wierdos, who are not qualified or legitimately concerned, spend their days advising others. I'm thinking of a few people in particular. I'm not including those who are constantly being pursued for advice. Those who are asked for their opinions are excluded from this clever essay. Those who have earned the trust of advisees are also excluded. My frustration is centered around fallacy. People who are blatantly lying and selling nonsense. I'm referring to people who post notes on Facebook about the tribulations of life and the solutions/ secrets to creating a perfect life. Most of the "authors" of these little posts and annoying notes are depressed, addicted to something, and lonely. So why then, are those of us who are just trying to enjoy our aimless lives, constantly subjected to notes and messages titled "SEIZE THE DAY" and "TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN" and "MAKE TODAY THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE." I just want it to stop.

I happen to know at least five of these idiots personally. I know that while they're trying to force us to seize the day when we'd rather be sleeping though it, they are also at home snacking on some 3-day-old Little Ceaser's pizza because 1)they have no real friends and 2)all of their fake friends are busy. What's worse is-so many people are subscribing to the bull. The notes about nothing are usually the notes with twenty-two comments that all say "thank you so much-oh wise one-for helping me find a reason to live." I'm nauseous just thinking about all of the people in the world that are so desperate for something to believe in that they've started praying to Dr. Phil, Joyce Meyer, and Oprah...instead of God.

I don't blame those who are distressed, depressed, hurting, and hopeless. I blame you. I blame you and your fake fixes and retarded tips for living a life free of stress and sadness. You're playing with peoples' lives. And you should be ashamed. My advice to you? Stop trying to fix all the rest of us. And deal with your own failures