Life...what a feeling

It can be hard if your not sure which direction to go. Lately that's how I've been feeling. The feeling leaves me empty inside. It feels like there is no hope, no resurrection that it will get better. It's holding me back, like I shouldn't try...you know? it's a feeling that I want to avoid but I don't know how so I feel lost. Lost with no map and since of direction as to where I should be heading. I can't ask for help because I my self don't know what's missing. I don't know where I'm heading or should be heading. But I know I don't feel like this everyday. I know that sometimes when I'm trapped I can always find my way home. This time is different, I think when I was walking I forgot to pay attention as to where I was going and know I can't figure out which way is back. Am I suppose to be aware at all times as to what's going on in my life? am I suppose to know why something is wrong and how to fix it every time its unbalanced? I used to fix everything at least that's what I thought I was doing. Now I have no clue. It's almost as if I have amnesia, I don't know how I ended up here. How did my life turn to be a mass. I'm a very clean person. Everything need to be in it's place. I don't like looking so I organize everything in my life. Where or when did I stop being organized? when did I let everything fall apart. It's hard picking up the peaces than it is organizing them. I have to get my self back on track... I really need to find my way back. It's lonely out here and it's very dark. I want the light, laughter, and joy. I want to feel happy, even a little sadness will be something. because right know I don't know nor can I say I feel something. I feel tired but I don't know why? I want to call a friend to talk too but I don't know where to start. I need to find my compass so I can make it back. I need to find the light switch so it can be light again. I need to focus so I can remember how I got here. I need to organize everything so I can get back on track with my life.

Life is great till next time...

Ly'Lla T.