Mr. Wonder Bread: Airy and of Little Substance

Once again I've gone on a date that makes me question my standards. All week I had been looking forward to Wednesday night's date with Mr. Wonder Bread. He's the "former flame" I mentioned in an earlier post who texted me randomly a few weeks ago. Mr. Wonder Bread and I met through a mutual friend three years ago, but the timing never worked out for us to go on an actual date. Every time he would work up the nerve to ask me out I was involved in some intense drama with Tom. But we finally made plans and I went on a date that had nothing whatsoever to do with Okcupid! I was going to hang out with a "real" person as May would call him.
Karma's a bitch. Remember how I was 30 minutes late to meet John? Well the very next day Mr. Wonder Bread was 30 minutes late picking me up, though he still got bonus points for agreeing to drive. Somehow I had forgotten that he is into the whole chivalry thing, but he's from South Carolina so I really should have known. He opened the car door for me, opened the restaurant door for me, and deferred to me in the conversation constantly in addition to paying for everything. Being a Southerner, I'm used to chivalry. I love it, it's actually something I expect from guys. Well let me amend that, I understand that it's not part of every guy's cultural upbringing in the U.S. and I can deal with that, but if I'm going out with a nice Southern gentleman there is no reason for me to ever have to touch a door handle or pay for anything in my opinion. Shocking as that may seem to some of my feminist friends, and yes ladies I do self-identify as a feminist, it's just how I was raised. Believe me I can hold my own if he dares besmirch the women's movement!

While the whole opening doors routine was great, the conversation quickly reminded me I still had so many other things to judge this guy on. Slight disclaimer here: Obviously I knew this guy before we went out on a date, however, we literally hadn't talked in two years and I was having trouble remembering anything about him except that I thought he was kind of cute once upon a time. No longer! The more he talked the more inclined I was to openly flirt with the waiter. Ok so maybe I didn't actually hit on the waiter, but I sure as hell thought about it. The conversation really did go from bad to worse, and I now have some more things to add to the list of things to not say on a first date:

-Don't make disparaging comments about my friends, ever. I have a diverse group of friends, and I can't be with someone who doesn't respect that.

-Try to avoid topics of conversation that make you seem overly effeminate (i.e. your love of cupcake baking, how often you shop at Lush, and the last time you exfoliated). It's just not my thing. Mr. Wonder Bread over shares...

-Religion! In this week's poll you all voted that religion is the worst first date topic of conversation. Apparently Mr. Wonder Bread didn't get the memo. Playing twenty questions about your religious beliefs is not a good idea.

In the end Mr. Wonder Bread's chivalrous manner was his only redeeming trait, and once again I've had a lackluster first date. Maybe I'm doomed to never get to the second date with anyone! This is certainly a step back from my former pattern of not getting to the third date. Oh well, I've still got John right? He'll be back from his business trip to Japan soon, and I can hardly wait fro him to call me again! Anyways, what are your thoughts on all this readers? Do you expect chivalry from men?