my freezer pop diet and the reason my mom won't answer my calls after 1:00 am

I haven't yet decided if I want to keep this blog seperate from my blog on Blogger. This post will be though. I have always been pretty decent at multi-tasking, I can work on a clip for the publication I write for, CIty Pulse, Wikipedia instruments that I will never play, update my blog, watch Roseanne, feed Louise (child, just kidding, cat) and eat a freezer pop at the same time. Also, I haven't decided what I am going to make for lunch and I am pissed at myself for thinking about lunch already because I woke up like 20 miutes ago. I'm really looking into becoming an aspiring anerexic. Though I am not fat by any means but I can't help but to get a tingly feeling when I think of hearing my friends concerns for me. I can hear what they would say, "Chelsea you need to eat a sandwhich." and "You are just so thin, we are worried about you!" No need to be concerned by this readers, this is NEVER going to happen.

1. I love bagels and cream cheese
2. I hang out with people who are just as self absorbed as I can be. I moved for 6 mos last year an no one even noticed, they just thought I was on hiatus from alcohol.

I am one of those people who love catching up with friends and family when I am shitfaced. Instead of drunk dialing some guy I had sex with and would like to have sex with again but he won't respond to my slurred drunk texts, I call my mom, my sister, or Guiseppi. Guiseppi is one of my many gay best friends. Guiseppi isn't his real name but I like it and it fits him and he would like it too. He's the best to talk to when I am faded. We live about an hour away from eachother which is a benefit to my waistline because he is a vegan chef, and everyone know's there is nothing like crispy tempeh and tufu after a long night of drinking. Anyway, what the fuck was I saying? Oh yes, I am a lush, and I love to drink, and I want to be skinny, and Louise is driving me nuts, and Twatface (my computer) still has the HIV, and I am still using my roommate Tito's computer, and it is still a dinosaur space machine, and Tito isn't really his real name either, and I wish he wasn't so busy so we could hang out right now, and I love freezer pops, and that is my diet for the rest of this summer.

Just kidding.


Jose cuervo will work his way in there too.

(*also, If you have children and a family and go to church and read books like "The Secret" my blog is not for you. If you like to swear, drink alcohol and enjoy laughing then yes, my blog is for you.)