Nerd Fury

Occasionally, guys fight over girls without actually coming to physical blows. I'm sure most girls have been in a similar scenario that I experienced tonight. There is table of girls, and the two guys? Any given night we most likely would have hit it off and become great friends. However, tonight the two of us find ourselves the centre of attention and only one of us will be taking the princess of the posse home.

I joined my a long time friend, an art student, and her fellow majors for a few drinks tonight at a pub down the street. There is this girl that I have liked for a long time who was present (for those who wish t0 know, grocery store/psych girl decided that she would rather go out with some football douche bag from a neighboring university). This girl is an artist and is short, blond, sweet and ever so charming. She tried to kiss me once, but I turned away because I didn't want the first kiss to be a drunken mishap. What a horrible mistake. One of the few times in my entire life where I was a true gentlemen and where does that get me? Single, without sex and the girl I like thinks that I turned her down. So she was happily entertaining said competition in addition to myself.

Now regularly, I am not a poacher. By that I mean that I do not work on another man's territory. Guys are quite good at telling when another man is stepping up his game to win over a woman. As a curtsy, it is appreciated if all other contenders for said woman back off if a "claim is made". This is usually done by buying drinks, whispering in the ears and all around close talking. This guy was doing all of these things, but I was doing it first and better. He ignored the rule of the game.

Now, being the kind-hearted person that I am, I decided to let things go. He obviously had invested some time into this girl outside of the pub scene, but he disrespected the rule that stat, "no man shall be a jerk and ruin another man's game so that he might instead get laid". Time and a place sir, and you picked the wrong time.

It was between us now to have a man table war. He told a joke, I told a better one. I told a crazy story, he told us about the time that he met Sting. The one-up manship was amazing. We were both busting out everything we had by the end of it. Then as I went to buy the next round, he clearly was trying to make a joke at my expense. I was about to pop him one, when I remembered that:

1. I can't fight. I've never punched anyone in my life.
2. I don't get into fights because I remembered that they're ridiculous.
3. I'm most likely much, much smarter than him and, being a male artist, he most likely had an unhealthy self-esteem.

So, instead of getting mad, I decided to play it cool.

After said girl went to the bathroom, the two of us tried to stare one another down. It would turn out that the victor of the stare down was neither the other guy. As soon as she left, the remainder of the flock of women quietly informed me that I should be more civil due to the fact that the girl already found a new boyfriend. The dude who was sitting across the table from me, staring me down.

Oh man, guess who feels like the worlds biggest jerk?! No wonder they guy was so competitive! In hindsight, there are a couple things I did which I'm surprised he didn't get a little more...hmmm.....punchy?

Interesting lessen learned. Girl are horrible flirts and generally the devil.