Pulling petals off a flower trying to get your way.

Who am I? A question I am unable to answer about myself. I feel like I've changed so much in the past 3.5 years of college that it's impossible to answer. I go back home and people still see the quiet, shy, nerdy girl that they knew in high school. Then I go back to school and my friends there see the crazy, drunk, party,lets make out and screw homework and classes girl. I enjoy going home and shock the people that remember the pimply faced sober me and have them watch me down 4 long islands in the matter of minutes.

Granted I'm much more subdued than I used to be. I do still like to go out and party, just not as frequently (my body just can't take it anymore!) and I just finished college which means no more using my parents credit card. I also am not hoping form one guy to another like I have in the past. I'm ready to find someone and actually be serious about it. The thing is I am either 1. sober and too shy to approach any guys or 2. too drunk to remember them the next day, I also enjoy just walking away from people when I'm drunk which is not good for first impressions. I don't know why it's so difficult for me to just talk to a guy whilst sober. All of my guy friends tell me if I wasn't in the friend zone they'd date me. Sadly, I am far far far in the friend zone for those guys.

Don't get me wrong here either, I'm not that picky. I'd like to say my standards are medium to low. I want a guy that's mildly funny (he doesn't have to be too humorous because I can usually entertain myself), decent looks (preferably blue eyes and good teeth), a college education and a steady job. Is that too much to ask? Lately, it seems like the answer to that is a big fat YES. But what I don't understand is why all my friends can get a guy with all those and I can't. Usually I'm content being single, but I feel like all my friends are pairing up or getting engaged lately and I'm left in the dust. Always the third wheel, or the one being set up with a bf's friend that I'm not interested in, because usually they're a skeeze ball (yeah I just said skeeze ball). So I'm on the quest for someone because I'm sick of being alone and it really would've been helpful to have a guy around the other day when I spent $136 on an oil change for my car.