Things I wish I knew at 24.

Technology hates me.

Last night was a late one. Rob and I stayed up until the wee hours desperately trying to upload a video of my latest List cross-off. I was so excited, only to have my hopes dashed, tortured and burned to ashes when I learned that my new Sony Handycam hates me. Really.

I can't figure out how to upload videos to my Mac. I'm working on the defect (the camera, not my dramatic overload - it stays) and will post my video once this glitch is sorted out. Ugh. On the upside, I’ve decided to take this opportunity to talk about something other than being 29. I'm going to talk about being 24.

In the early days of this blog, I wrote a letter to my younger self, telling her the things that I wish she had known then. Blah, blah, blah, hindsight is 20/20, so I won’t dwell. Instead, I’ll just dispense
today. It seems nothing feels in focus when you’re 24. For some, turning 25 is the big milestone and so 24 becomes “the new 29” in many ways, being
that it's the last stop before you feel you need to make some serious changes and advances if you’re ever going to ever be happy. Um, no pressure? I’m not suggesting this is true about 24, I’m simply sympathizing with that feeling. It’s very real.

There is a special young person in my life who, for the purpose of this post, shall remain nameless. There is also another young woman and blogger, Cheryl of Starbucks Break, whom this post is dedicated to. In fact, it's for anyone under 29 who ever felt stuck, confused, depressed about where life is headed or wanted to heave him or herself out of window because, well, sometimes, shit just feels that bad.

I'm going to break this down the best way I know how - with a list, of course. These are the three areas I hear young people (particularly young women) analyze to death, agonize over and stress out about
(careful, grey hair responds to stress).

These three items are things I lost my mind over when I was 24, too, so although that doesn't make me an expert, it certainly makes me more qualified than, say, Dr. Phil. Read on:

Love: Stop looking for the person who you want to spend the rest of your life with, because you've already found the one who will be there until your dying day: You.

My aunt, whom I love so dearly it hurts, once asked me why I didn’t want to marry my boyfriend at 24 (for the record, I did marry that boyfriend a few years later). Being 24 had everything to do with not wanting to be married and nothing to do with not wanting to be married. I just really didn’t know what
marriage meant to me yet. It had very little to do with the fact that, after 25 years of marriage, my parents divorced, leaving my sister and I turned on our ears. I was hurt by their divorce, but it didn’t jade my judgment of nuptials. In fact, it made me take a long hard look at what it meant to be married and ultimately made me realize that I did want to be married someday, just not right then. I wasn’t ready to let marriage define me before I had defined myself.

Sum it up already: You’re going to be with you for a long time; define that relationship first, worry about love later.

Friendships: I was always the girl not lucky in friendlove, like I wrote about here. Here’s what I knew at 24 but only started absorbing at 29: Surround yourself with people who add value to your life. And no, I don’t mean, “use people” and dispense them when not needed. I mean connect with people who add actual value that helps you develop who you are. Have as many friends as you can and try not to pigeonhole yourself into a particular group – have different friends for different things. Like your spouse or lover, you can’t rely on just one friend for everything either, so stop searching for the perfect friend –
collect wonderful people instead.

Sum it up already: If your friend feels like an old shoe, you’ll keep using bandages to cover up the blisters they leave behind. Keep moving.

Career: Like a partner, a best friend or a shade of red lipstick, is there really a perfect one? Jobs, I’m afraid are fleeting. What you need to find yourself is a passion. I recently heard, “Do you know what job stands for? Just. Over. Broke.” They give you just enough to make you have to come back the next day
for more. You get into a cycle and then, eventually, you tell yourself, “This is my career” and maybe even trick yourself into believing it. But trust me, a so-called career without passion is just a J.O.B
situation.

For years after graduation I pimped out my words to websites, marketing brochures, B2B magazines, lame resumes, press releases, newsletters and dreaded executive summary reports. I needed to make a
living and told myself everyday that it was all “great experience”. Experience? What was I trying to get experienced for? If my plan was to keep bouncing from job to job with little drive or passion for what I
was doing, then yes, I was gaining fabulous experience. This sound like you?

Sum it up already: If you have a goal or passion or pursuit, I really very highly and strongly suggest that you aim for it as many times as you can because eventually, you’ll hit your target. And the money will come.

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Join the conversation: Pass this post along if you wish, I would be honored. Or tell me what you learned about being 24. Or, better yet, do you think I’m off my rocker?