Will I never learn??

I didn't get the job. And it's not so much the not getting the job that bothers me, it's the telling people I didn't get the job that bothers me. I've definitely learned my lesson - next time there's a job I really want that I'm going through the process for, I'm only telling my parents, if them. No more telling everyone I know, because it sucks to have to say, "Oh, actually, even though I thought I was gonna get it and I was already checking out apartments in such-and-such city because I'm an IDIOT, I didn't get the job," and then have people give you THE LOOK and say, "Ohhh, I'm so sorry," when half of them didn't want you applying that far away anyway. So long story short, job searches and applications are going to be secret from now on. I should've learned this from other things over the years that I've applied for and told me about and then got rejected from. This was the biggest one though, so I think it'll stick now.

Another thing I'm never going to learn? To stop looking up the one person I've been in love with slash maybe just obsessed with for many, many years. I forget about him for a while, then he randomly pops in my head and I decide to Google him and I just did that and now, for the first time, he has Facebook and I'm so tempted to friend him, but that just seems silly since we haven't had any real communication in about a year and a half and the last time I tried to contact him I got no response, so really, what's the point, especially since he's off in Asia teaching small children English or something right now? The real root of the problem? In my mind I'm convinced he's perfect and that I'm supposed to marry him.

When I behave in irrational ways and really annoy myself, the run-ons and poor grammar really come out. Hence the "sentences" in this post that I had to struggle to get through reading in one breath / thought. Oy.

Really though, will I never learn??