Fill in the blank: If I had a nickel for every time ___________________________ was said to me or about me, I'd be rich. 

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If I had a nickel for every time someone sent me something Fifty Shades related... well, I wouldn't be rich and I wouldn't even be able to afford that much-needed therapy, but I could probably buy a cheap bottle of wine.

Sorry, I don't follow instructions well.

Really, who is going to get rich of nickels anyways? I should ammed to, "If I had $3.75 for every time..." Something like that.

Then we might be able to bottle of the good stuff. Not that it would last very long.

That's true. Thanks for pointing out that it was your shitty prompt that was the problem.

(I kid. I also failed to follow the structure of the prompt, SO THERE'S THAT.)


$3.75!  Hello King Sized Snickers!

That I will not share.

How about if someone thought of you every time they saw 50 shades?  Because I do.  That has to count for something.  Like an imaginary nickel...AT LEAST!

I love that the thought process must be something like, "Hey there's that terrible book.. LORRAINE AND SWEENEY."


It's exactly like that!  But it's all out of love!

One time I was blanking on the title and I said to one of my guy coworkers "whats that terrible book everyone's talking about?" He got it in about 5 seconds.

I probably would've have twitched and yelled FIFTY SHADES! as soon as I heard "terrible."


I must admit...I do this, too. Not with every horrible book. Just with 50 Shades.


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