The Bloggers With The Most To Say
Who Are You Blogging For?
I had a commenter yesterday chastise me for no longer being an inspiration. I went through IVF about a month ago, and the cycle didn't take. I have admittedly been struggling with what that means (and the $20,000 that was literally thrown down the drain), and I probably haven't been my usual sunshine and roses on the old blog every day.
She felt that there were woman who were worse off than I am who look to me for inspiration and support... not me wallowing in self pity - her words. Her point was that I owed it to them to get over my own hurt and turn my blog around.
And really, I was taken aback. Both because the post she commented on was actually a humorous one and not a sad one at all (not an ounce of self pity), and because; since when did I sign on to be an inspiration to anyone? Since when did writing a blog mean you had to pretend on your bad days so as not to bring anyone else down with you?
What do you all think? As bloggers, are we obligated to remain upbeat and positive on our blogs, no matter what we are going through in our real life, because that's what people want to read? Do you try to remain eternally optimistic on your blogs, without ever letting the muck and struggle of life shine through?
As readers, do you prefer blogs that are always sunshine and roses, or do you sometimes like to see a little bit of reality and truth?
And is it fair to expect anyone to be your inspiration through a blog? To expect them to "get over it" and move on, solely because you want to read someone who is upbeat and happy.
At what point as bloggers do we have some sort of obligation to give people what they want, instead of the truth?
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Lora on -
I believe blogging should be for yourself and if people find inspiration in your words then it's a bonus. I still see personal blogging as a public diary and a very healthy way to deal with emotions, it's not always sunshine and lollipops and your blog shouldn't be either.
P.s I'm very sorry to hear that your IVF has been unsuccessful.
-
Permalink Reply by Citizenerased on -
I think you should write for who ever if you wish, whether it be yourself or for a specific audience. If you choose to write for yourself (as I do) then I agree with loranna's comments. A personal blog is more of a diary you are choosing to share, and people have a free choice whether to read/follow; so in my opinion readers should not expect it the same thing all of the time and then chastise you for suddenly doing something different. Commenting on how they agree/disagree with a stated opinion or idea is fine, because we all want sone interaction with our readers. But the comment you mentioned is out of order.
-
Permalink Reply by S.I.F. on -
Thank you Lora... I'm actually dealing with it a little better than I would have thought,a nd there are still 2 frozen embryos - so always a little hope there! ;)
-
Permalink Reply by Erika on -
I started to blog for myself and I intend to keep it that way. Don't get me wrong, I love having followers and hearing what other people have to say about my rants, but I am not here to jump through hoops and censor myself for others.
I think it that comment on your post was absolutely selfish and ridiculous. You do not sit and type your entries for someone else. Blogging is a very healthy way to heal and deal with problems. Anyone who expects anything other than real life and real emotion is absurd and really has no business reading other people's blogs anyway. Honestly, I can't believe she had the 'balls' to tell you to get over it. That just makes me so mad that she felt entitled to say those things! The nerve of some people is just unbelievable.
Anyway, I love your blog and you ARE an inspiration to women in all situations, even if you don't mean to be. Don't let a rude coward that like woman bug you too much. Ignorant people are just so not worth it.
-
Permalink Reply by S.I.F. on
-
It definitely kind of blew my mind that anyone would have expectations of my blog beyond me writing what I want to write... people are weird!
But I totally agree that we should be writing for ourselves. If people want to read and follow along, great. If not though, it really isn't that big a deal!
-
Permalink Reply by melody joy welton on -
Wow. It is funny that you bring this up because I find myself editing at times when I think my post might not be as humorous, or light hearted, or 'inspirational', even though it is really what I am going through. I blog because I love to write and tell stories, and to keep family and friends updated about my life in Korea... I always knew I tended to be a people pleaser, but I never thought it would come out on my blog... wrong!
thanks for sharing, something for me to think about.
-
Permalink Reply by S.I.F. on
-
To be completely honest Melody, there is part of me that feels the same way. Part of me that thinks people don't want to read my sad story - they want to read llight and upbeat. And in general, I usually am that girl, but sometimes (only sometimes), you have to let the crap out too! I just really think that life isn't always sunshine and roses, and if you pretend it is - who are you really helping?
But I totally know what you're saying, because there is part of me that leans that way too!
-
Permalink Reply by dhpotter on -
I can see how this upset you, but let’s get real here. She obviously is one of those people who doesn't understand that the best blogs are real; not "getting over things" or faking happiness. You're not obligated to anyone but yourself, you don't even have to write if you don't want to. Don't let one person’s animosity make your tough situation worse. I'm sorry.
-
Permalink Reply by S.I.F. on
-
You know what's funny? It actually didn't upset me so much as make me think. I totally agree that people who lash out in animosity aren't really worth anyones time... I mean, who needs that? I was actually laughing as I read the comment, wondering to myself who this troll was! But the fact that she told me that other women look to me for inspiration and implied that I had an obligation to them really did make me think... I mean, DO we have an obligation to our readers? Are there expectations of us beyond just being ourselves?
I wouldn't think that's how it should be, but do our readers have expectations?
-
Permalink Reply by Casey Chapman on -
Hm.. I think that ultimately whatever you end up blogging about has to make you happy. After all, if you don't actually care about what you are blogging about your blog will portray that.. Just my thoughts on this!
© 2012 Created by Lisa.
