1 - Never travel with parents - especially if you haven’t lived with them for over 10 years. Stress like aeroplanes, lost luggage, a wedding and not smoking for 24 hours can lead to threats of being cut out of the will.

2 - If you have to travel with your family, do not sit with them on the plane, you’ll never get any peace as they fiddle with and repeatably break their TV. Once it’s finally fixed, they will fall asleep and snore loudly while you curse them.

3 - Do wear nicotine patches while doing a long haul flight, the best fear of flying cure ive discovered yet. Although I smoke, im not sure if they work if you don’t. 4 little bottles of red wine also works as well as one sleeping tablet.

4 - Its very trying when a parent keeps ‘shouting loudly and slowly’ to be understood in a country where they speak perfect English. Learn to count to 100, many times over. And don’t tell them to stop as the will threat may rear its ugly head again.

5 - Falling asleep in a hotel lobby in Singapore will get you kicked out. Even if you are 60 years old and get all disgruntled about it. They will pretend not to speak English on this occasion as well.

6 - In Tokyo, they don’t allow smoking on the streets. You can get away with it once while passing a policeman, but not the same one twice.

7 - Don’t hold posh shoes in your hand in a posh shop in Tokyo while trying to calculate the price. You will be shouted at and asked to leave. Oh the shame. However, all the other ladies (who were Japanese) will be able to try the shoes on at will. Not just hold them, but try them on!

8 - Tiger beer is good. As are pork buns in those Singapore food courts. Plus they are only about 50p each. The Singapore slings at Raffles hotel are worth every penny though. And they should be for a tenner each!

9 -It’s worth hunting out a great sushi restaurant in Tokyo, as because ours here in Edinburgh (sushiya) are so good, it’s hard to make a comparison. Try Gonpachi which is the restaurant they based the restaurant scene in Kill Bill on. Tempura is greasy wherever in the world you eat it and Chinese restaurants lie all the time about using MSG. they all still do, even if they say they don’t. However, Vietnamese food is now high on my list of favourite foods, although I didn’t go to Vietnam.

10 - Australian spiders aren’t as scary as you are led to believe, although the snakes are. Aussie men are pretty scary too. Although trying to scare a huntsman spider out of a tent is still an intimidating experience. Good job, I was, err, relaxed at the time!

Mwah xx