I'm sure you've noticed that Austin, Texas SHOWS UP ON EVERY GOD FORSAKEN 'BEST OF' LIST THAT HAS COME OUT OVER THE PAST FOUR YEARS.



Many times Austin is ranked in the top ten. Sometimes it's voted number one.



Now, how do you like them apples, huh?



I'll be honest. I moved to Austin with $500 in…

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I am your typical non-committal and nonplussed twenty-something they've been devoting so much attention to in the … Continue

You've been in a threesome before.





It wasn't that time in high school you got drunk of off 40s with a waitress from Crackle Barrel and her boyfriend out behind the 7-Eleven.



Or that night at the bar you mistook two middle-aged men from Bulgaria as two thirds of the Jonas Brothers.





The threesome I'm talking about is you, your partner, and technology.





The gigantic fat and smelly 1200 pound gorilla flingin' his poop across the… Continue

Ever since I discovered Marfa, Texas almost two years ago, I'd been

dying to visit it. About once a month I'd get

an itch to finally go, make an announcement to everyone that I'm going, am reminded that it's

an eight hour trek from Austin to Marfa, still announce that I'm going,

wake up the next morning thinking about driving in a car for eight

hours only to drive back the next day for another eight hours, and go

back to sleep.



Finally after two years of… Continue

Self-promotion is a quintessential aspect to being a popular blogger. There is no way around it. Most of us do not like promoting ourselves out of fear of looking like a giant narcissistic boob. However, the truth is, if you want anyone other than your parents to read your blog, you're going to have to do… Continue

I read an article on Huffington Post recently discussing how longing prevents us

from fulfilling our dreams. The author made the obvious point that if

we're stuck in the past and long for people, places, and things that are

realistically unattainable, then we will never truly enjoy our lives.

The essay hit home for me because I realized that… Continue

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You have nine followers, and one of them is your mother.…

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I'm sitting in a cracked leather booth somewhere in the desert of west Texas.

I squint through the blinds and a faded sign tells me that I'm at Papa's Pantry in Van Horn.

There are three ceiling fans in Papa's Pantry. They're lazy, just like the tongue of the waitress who brings me my iced tea.

Wait, aren't I still in Los Angeles? Who are these two guys sitting behind me with cowboy hats?

I take a deep breathe and let out a slow exhale. Somebody has finally released the… Continue

This is an essay that I wrote last year during the height of my twenty-something freak-out.

I kind of miss those days.



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For the love of God! I don’t think I’ve ever been this depressed before! This has to be the lowest I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I am so unbelievably lost and lonely right now. My brain hurts and my heart perpetually aches. I don’t think it can get any worse than this.



Just when I think my twenties have… Continue

I'm obsessed with reading those "25 Best Places to Live If You're A...." articles on MSN/Yahoo/Google. A couple of those articles helped perpetuate my move to the city I'm currently living in- Austin, TX (one of US News and World Report/Kiplinger/Yahoo Fiance/Money Magazine's top places to live).



Having lived in a few of the frequent cities that appear on the lists (Austin, Los Angeles, Charlottesville, VA, Ithaca, NY) and spending… Continue

Last night, I came across an enjoyable little mockumentary called PITTSBURGH starring Jeff Goldblum. The film follows Jeff, his (cough) 23 year-old fiance, and his friends Ileana Douglas and Ed Begley Jr. as they star in Jeff's hometown stage revival of "The Music Man". Jeff Goldblum pretending to be Jeff Goldlbum is always a winner . I could watch the dude talk to his hands. This movie is worth checking out if you're a fan of the… Continue

I wrote an Ehow a bit ago about how to become a Hollywood Assistant and all the not-yet-jaded kids seemed to like it. However, I should have put a disclaimer, "But you're a fucking jackass if you think you REALLY want to be a Hollywood assistant."



So little do they know...



You see that picture of that girl? You want to look like her? Tired eyes, frizzy hair, walkie talkie strapped to belt, listening to her boss scream… Continue

Last year, in a weak effort to impose validity on my life (but not in an attempt to rectify my sins), I decided that my future no longer included working in the film business, but rather growing out my armpit hair and slinging it in the non-profit sector.



I got about four days into the armpit rebellion and only two months into the job.



A great lesson was learned during this time- don't pick just any cause to support, pick a cause you're willing to make an ass of yourself… Continue

My mother wanted to keep me in an arrested state of development. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's that most parents don't want to see their little babies grow up. Or maybe they don't want us to become familiar with our burgeoning sexuality and have us shame the family by getting knocked up at 15. Maybe they're just prude. Or asexual. Which might both be the case with my mother (Dear Lord, I hope my mother is not reading this. If you are Mom, STOP RIGHT NOW!)



At 13 when most girls had… Continue

WWPD? (What Would Prince Do?)



On those particular days when I'm feeling weary, feeling small, when tears are in my eyes, Art Garfunkel comes and dries them all.

But on the particular days that Art doesn't stop by to say "heeeyyy!", and my self-esteem and confidence are at an all-time low, I think of another man.



A purple man.

A woman-man.

A 5'2" larger than life man.

A sexy, sexy man.



When I feel like shit about myself, I ponder, "What would… Continue

When I was a child, I lusted after Doc Brown.

I used to write my name as "Mrs. Emmett Brown" on notebooks.

My mother thought it was f'ing weird. My classmates gave me strange looks.

I mean, it wasn't Christopher Lloyd that I was jonesin' for.

There was just something about that wild white hair and manic eyes. I swooned after his near autistic dedication to science and inability to interact with anyone socially.

And that car!

Yep, Doc Brown could get my motor up to… Continue