So now I have another blog, apparently.

I'm feeling the pressure. You know what I mean?

Are these supposed to be as lengthy as the ones on my regular blog? Am I allowed to use horrifically dirty words and talk about anal sex? Is there a ceiling for "fuck" usage? Is your mom feeling sore this morning?

Maybe my blog girlfriend, Becky, can fill me in on the do's and don't's of 20SB. Until then, I'll just feel it up out.

I've never been good at dividing my attention. Something or someone always takes precidence over the other.

For instance:

When I gave birth to the kid she was all I could look at or think about for the first, mmm, 10 minutes. Natural, right? A new mother's wide eyed facination.

Later, in the regular room, all I could think about was food. In trotted the Chick-fil-A. Oh, blissful chicken.

"Hey you, take this kid while I eat." Maybe not so natural.

That might be a bad example. I wouldn't want you to think I'm a bad parent. (PTA mom wave that closely resembles pagent wave: "Hello child services! Everything's just fine here!") Let's try this again.

For instance:

When I was walking up the brick stairs this morning, on my way to the car, I tripped and fell. I had my purse and lunch box on one arm and a cup of diet pepsi in the other. My right knee was busted all to shit and throbbing and I was screaming obscenities.

But I wasn't screaming about my knee. Oh, no. Fuck the knee. They can replace those bitches later on down the road. I hear you get nice drugs too.

I was screaming about my spilled diet pepsi. I was thirsty, damn it, and 3/4 of a cup was gone! Soaked into the brick, just like that. There wasn't any time to go back in the house for more. So for the hour it took me to get to work, I pouted about my lack of soda. I didn't start pouting about my knee until I'd been in my office for half an hour, started my coffee IV, and hoovered a breakfast bar.

See, priorities. Obviously food and beverages are high on the list. Sex would come before those, of course, but that's a long (and dirty) list of "for instances" and I'm due another cup of coffee.

My point, in case I didn't make it entirely clear (you'll get used to that, I'm sure), is that this blog and my other one might end up locked in a battle of wills. Who will win?

It all depends on which tastes better, I suppose.