The Bloggers With The Most To Say
To the Parents of Us 20-Somethings: A Letter of Explanation
Everyone is trying to figure out what is "wrong" with us. The New York Times, the rest of society, our friends, and especially our parents are asking: What is it about 20-Somethings? So, to the people we are most likely to try explaining ourselves to, our parents, here is a letter of explanation:
Dear Most Patient (though often frustrated) Parents,
What is it about us 20-somethings anyway? We are sure the question weighs heavily on your minds
every morning that you awake to find us sitting on your couch still sans
employment. We are sure you often wonder why we have abandoned our successful,
decently paying corporate jobs that we were lucky enough to land after college,
and opted for a more “casual” lifestyle. Especially in this economy. Why have we forfeited financial and residential
independence? Why have we deviated from the college-work-marriage path that
society has neatly outlined for us, and that would have made you quite pleased
with our success? Are we crazy? Have we lost our minds? Possibly, yes.
We know you think we are a mess/lost/confused/lazy, and there is a good possibility that you are somewhat
right. And, surprised as you may be, you are not alone. Your child is
not the only one that has seemingly regressed just as you thought they were
f
inally becoming adults. Thousands of other parents all across the world are
dealing with us; the wandering children that seem to be meandering along to no
particular destination at all.
But we will have a destination, we just haven’t quite figured out how to get there yet, or exactly
where there is, or…well, the point is, we are not trying to disappoint
you. We do not enjoy attempting to explain our divergent choices to our friends,
acquaintances, potential employers, and most importantly, to you, our beloved
parents, only to be met with looks of puzzlement and displeasure. We have
always wanted, and still look for your approval. We want to succeed, but by our
own definition, not anyone else’s. And whether it seems like it or not, we
really aren’t as lost as we may appear to be. We are not simply avoiding the
responsibilities of adulthood. We really believe we are on to something. We
think we have found the key to life: that we are supposed to be living it.
We have seen the endless possibilities available in this life that you have given us, and we
want to live and experience them. We want to travel. We want to explore. We
want to go back to school--education is important right? We want jobs that don’t
suck the life and creativity out of us. We want to experience the world our
way, not as it should be seen on weekends when we have briefly escaped the
windowless confines of our cubicles. We want more and we are going to get it.
Hopefully.
Don’t you want us to be happy? Because we are, for the most part. We are enjoying the slightly
penniless journey to our vague destinations and stopping to smell the roses, and
the tulips, and the daisies, and…okay maybe we are taking our time, but we will
just be that much more knowledgeable by the time we arrive. We will have
learned what works, and what doesn’t, what jobs are challenging or worthless,
and what girl/guy is right or wrong for us (don’t worry, it is still likely
that there will be grandchildren in your somewhat distant future). Maybe we
will have traveled the world, saved Africa’s children, and built several
habitats for humanities, and quite possibly have depleted our meager savings in
the process. But we will have lived, loved, and lost, and money can always be
remade. What we cannot have back is our misspent youth, if we decide to
misspend it, and we are not willing to risk losing out on any portion of our
lives.
You have to let us make our mistakes, as we are sure you made yours. Sure, you may have made them 5
years earlier than we are, but these are changing times, and 30 really is the
new 20 Moms and Dads. There is hope. Let us live this out. Let us forge our own
paths. We will get there. We will give you something to be proud of again. We
will succeed and make a living…eventually. We just need a little time, and
maybe our old room at your house back.
Sincerely, and with all the love and hopes for understanding,
Your knuckle-headed headstrong children.
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